so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
