I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
