you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize