I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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