I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
