Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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