awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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