Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
