this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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