I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
