We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
