Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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