Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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