I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
