did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
