I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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