Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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