Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
