I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
