Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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