I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Green mimosas i think yes
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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