He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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