I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
