This is not my ceiling
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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