That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
