come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
