I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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