dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
