I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
