Sponge bath it is.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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