I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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