Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize