She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
