We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
