I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
