Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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