No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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