On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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