New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize