We won't sleep together?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
