after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
