The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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