So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
