I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
