I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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