I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
