I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
