You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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