apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
