I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
