i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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