I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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