was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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