They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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