Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
