i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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