I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
