in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
