I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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