You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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